So, here is another post, similar to the lengthy one posted a few days ago. I just finished writing this in my English class, so, enjoy.

There is a girl..hm, no, a young lady I know, who is continually gaining a bigger place in my heart. I met her not too long ago, early this summer, actually. She is a very wonderful person with so many great things about her that I don't even know where to start.
...
Well, first off, she is beautiful. she has the best body out of all my friends and works hard to keep it that way. She has hair you can get lost in, and eyes that are at war with her hair for the "best maze" award. When she sings, my heart stops as well as my thoughts. Hearing her voice travel through the busy evening air gives me strength and fills every sad bit inside me with happiness. I feel beautiful just being able to hear it. (Sometimes, I think her voice is magic!) She is able to move with such grace at any moment, and her smile carries the delight of every smile of everything at once.
On the other side of the spectrum, she is still a spectacular person. She displays strength in everything she does and doesn't let anything get in her way. Even thought she can act like an internet retard or laugh at anything forever, she is still on of the most mature people I know. She easily surpasses the maturity of my eldest friend (who is 43).
She is the type of person who would do anything to help a friennd; I should know. She's saved my ass before. Her friends are so important to her and you can see that in her eyes. And she is very important to her friends, especially me. she is one of the huge factors in why my 18th birthday was fabulous (dramu aside) and why I'm trying so hard in school this year. Not only do I want to suceed for myself, I want to make her happy and proud of me.
Sometimes, I wish I could be like her. Physically, mentally, in University, so talented in many wats. But lately, I realised, if I was like her, who would I have as a role model/idol? (Other than my father ) I really look up to her and hope maybe one day I can be just as accomplished and great as she is.
At the end of a night I'm sure none of us want to talk about, she looked me in the eyes and told me some things that had never been said to me in such a serious or assuring tone. Needless to say, I started crying. Beyond my tears, though, I felt beautiful, strong, smart and happy. More than I have ever felt.

In case you haven't figured it out, I'm talking about lightning_queen , a friend of mine who is simply fantastic, and is my #1 inspiration in everything I do. Especially school.
I love you Syd~

But I love him so much. I feel so....upset right now. I don't really want to get into it, but lets just say I can never shut my fucking mouth. Or say the right thing, ever.

but I love him, so much.

http://www.onemanga.com/Uzumaki/2/15/

I'm not sleeping tonight.

I drew this in English class. It's really really terrible but I don't care I love R.Mika and REALLY WISH I COULD FIND THE FIGURE OF HER but I can't. I looked everyone in my room/storage stuff.
:(
but anyways here is a picture drew in purple pen
yayyyy purple pens

but halfway through I started talking to lightning_queen and then this happened
original comic: http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=186

Basically, What I posted yesterday got me in a writing mood, so expect more posts like that about some other important people in my life. :)
I'm in Media arts class right now fawning over the keyboard, it doesn't have any keys missing, I'm so jealous.

I'd like to take some time to tell everyone about a friend of mine. He hasn't been my friend for very long, but already I feel closer to him than some people I've known for years. This friend is John.
This friend of mine is a few years older than me, a guy, and pretty much an asshole. As in, he's honest to the point that he'll tell you straight up what's going on or his opinion, and he's not afraid to say whatever he wants. That's something I really respect in a person, so I use the word asshole lovingly. His "assholery" has actually cheered me up because he's telling me the truth. And that's amazing.
We share a lot of interests, like Megaman, 2-d Capcom/SNK fighters, cosplay, Watchmen, Dexter, comics, trance/music like that (even though I'm very very new to the last two) and it's a great damn feeling having someone who loves Megaman as much as I do. I find that the classic Megaman is a rare fandom these days. Classic Capcom, even. Imagine my surprise the first time I walked into his bedroom and saw his complete Capcom All-Stars capsule figure set! I've been hunting those down one by one for years; so to see a full set by this random friend of Mike's was absolutely great. 
I will admit, at first I was kind of wary to be close to him, because I had heard bad things regarding him and he reminded me of people who used to bully me and beat me up a lot in elementary school. I was kind of like "...Mike, get me out of here oh god oh god" but more and more awesome things kept happening, like seeing the All-Stars collection, that stopped those thoughts from being thought.
By the end of the night of our first meeting, I was wearing his Street Fighter headband, was a little tipsy from Jaegerbombs, and I had already read through an art book or two off his shelf. I also thought to myself "This guy...he's pretty cool. He's pretty cool."
(Of course, I was a little preoccupied that night, with Mike and all <3 This was before we were together.)
John showed up to my 18th birthday party, although he was late, it was a joy to see that he made it. He made my Megaman-birthday a little bit better, by giving me my presents. He gave me a Capcom/Megaman red light keychain and sticky clock thing. The red light is around my daily lanyard, and the clock is stuck on my dresser next to my bed. The time is wrong though...I can't figure out how to change it.
(Of course, sorry John, but Mike giving me Megaman Legends = <333333333333333333333333bestpresentever)
At my birthday party, I got to see John interact with people (which is a weird thing about me I'll explain at another time) and I was absolutely floored at how awesome one person can be, and how ALIKE two people can be. 
John and I are seriously clones of eachother or something. Or if there were two people that were actually one person a million years ago and they split off and reunited it would be like "HEY ALEX" "SUP JOHN" that's pretty much us, right there.
So many things are alike about us I could rave on for pages and pages but seriously I'm missing me dfk keys so I won't.
But I'll say, so many times have I woken up and shuffled to the computer, just to sit down and see the window telling me Blues has signed in. Or I'll just be sitting around doing nothing on the computer, then I'll have a thought along the lines of "Oh hey, I should mention this to John..."...and the same window will pop up at that exact moment. Whaaaat? 
We both have a "strange" way of talking, and it's something that only I would notice, but we repeat the beginning of our sentences sometimes. It's weird. But it's comforting. 
I think I knew for sure that him and I are meant to be great friends after I threw a question at him on MSN. It was, "What do you think of the world?" He gave me the following response:

holy fuck I want to dance to this in a Q-Bee costume with a Lillith and Morrigan.
I'M LOOKING AT YOU, schizojenic�lightning_queen
but like obviously in a million and four years when we aren't swamped with cosplay plans

I took my camera out and took some pictures and lolololol shadows and I feel like one of those emo kids who take pictures of random shit and add pretentious titles to them so I'm going to do that kay.
so like here's a huge list of links and stuff that lead to pictures. Also they are out of order because I'm lazy^3
i hope you all like them
brb drinking vitamin water and buying a pair of chucks
(chucks are fucking rad)
also I wish I had google wave right now for this, holy shit you have no idea.

1.
These house and trees obscure my view of the sun and the sky, my real home.

2. The sea is so desolate, I yearn for my true place.

3. My sunglasses sit at home for a reason.

4. The sky matches my eyes, but no one would ever know.

5. Only my hands get cold in this soft world.

6. I try to restrain my happiness but it spills out like sunshine.

7. You're a distraction from perfection, but after another look I realize you're perfect yourself.

8. The wind is one of the only things that moves me

9. Take off, and I know I'm still a kid where is matters.

10. As I set back down, it will be like I never left at all.

11. In my mind, the chains go on forever.

12. I'm the captain of this ship, and I say all sails out, lets head for the sunrise.

13. My home urges for my return, but I won't be back for a long time. I've still got to find you.

14. In this world I can stand as tall as the clouds, and make them bow to me.

15. We're now in a place between normality and your wildest dreams, you don't have to pick a side this time around.

16. The only thing between me and the sky are pieces of nature; easily persuaded and overcome.

17. "One day, we'll fix 'er up real good, and we'll get out of here. I promise you, girl."

18. Eternal knowledge lies on the other side of the gate, all we need to do is walk forward.

19. The finish line is steps away but I don't think I'll stop running.


All jokes aside, I'm actually REALLY happy with how these pictures turned out. I tend to like doing things on my own, so being able to have a great set of photos without having anyone else to help me (hurr independance). Not trying to sound like "I DONT NEED ANYONE LEAVE ME ALOOONE" or anything. But it was just nice.
I would like to get a better camera, but it's a bit out of my sights right now. I have more important things on my christmas wishlist (which I'll type out eventually for shits and giggles) and seriously a camera that isn't grainy as shit is probably really pricey. Oh well, I'll get one eventually.
Anyways, to whoever even read this, I hope you get a kick out of my pictures, or at least think they are nice :]

*drools everywhere*
*EVERYWHERE*

a.k.a I like drawing retarded crap guys
http://i696.photobucket.com/albums/vv330/maverickpillow/Untitled.png?t=1257747490
 

Here is a comparison of two kinds of bread that I eat.
 

                     White                        Light Rye

Calories	170	70
Fat	1.5g : 2%	0g : 0%
Cholesterol	0mg	0mg
Sodium	340mg : 14%	180mg : 8%
Carbohydrate	34g : 11%	14g : 5%
Fibre	1g : 4%	1g : 4%
Sugars	3g	0g
Protein	6g	3g
Vitamin A	0%	0%
Vitamin C	0%	0%
Calcium	4%	2%
Iron	20%	6%

fuck white bread.

Today at school there was an incident. >:|
It was "Wacky Wednesday", a spirit day where we can wear whatever we want that looks wacky or different. NATURALLY I came in somewhat-cosplay, wearing my Haman Karn jacket, a skirt I just made, a bright top and a pink wig. The wig is totally adorable. x3
Anyways, after a pretty normal day, I was standing in the main hallway with my friend just eating some fries, when a girl walks behind me and tugs on my wig so hard it was pulled right off the left side of my head. Sure, y'know, whatever, but I had bobby pins all along my hairline and the nape of my neck holding that thing in place, so it hurt like hell. I was absolutely shocked and my scalp was in a lot of pain. I turned around, bewildered, and saw a girl who ha just passed me walking briskly for the stairs. I walked after her, following her up the stairs and she laughed and snrked at me from behind the second floor door. She started walking away once I came through the door, and I called after her, "Excuse me, but why did you pull my wig off? That hurt a lot, it was secured to my head...why would you do that?? Who are you??" She yelled back things like "I'm walking away! I'm walking away from this!!"
I've NEVER seen this girl before in my life. I can vaguely remember the faces I see everyday, and hers has not been one of them. 
So as I round the corner in the French hallway, trying to catch up to her without "chasing" her or yelling, one of the vice-principals caught up with me and told me to go down to the office, so I did. At this point, I was really shaken up; literally. My hands and shoulders were shaking and I was on the verge of tears as I waited for Mr. Keating in the office. 
He came back a few minutes later, with the girl walking in front of him. She went to his office; and was subsequently sent home afterwards.
I told Mr. Keating and another VP what had happened, pretty much exactly what I wrote above, and needless to say Mr. Keating was completely appalled. He couldn't believe that someone I had never even seen/met before would do that for no reason. He asked if I was hurt, to which I replied "yes." My head was stinging really bad where the bobbypins and been pulled out of my hair. Actually, it was more that they were pulled INTO my hair, because the wig was pulled backwards, and the open end of the bobbypins was dragged hard across my scalp. Ow.
Mr. Keating said I have every legal right to press charges of assault on this girl, and I seriously considered it, because I overheard him talking with the police officer, this girl has been suspended multiple times on accounts of physical assault. Pressing charges for such a petty incident seemed silly to me after I thought about it, though. So I said that I would refrain from doing so, as long as she was suspended for a decent amount of time, was punished with volunteer work helping around the school, and she delivered an in-person apology to me, and explains why she pulled my wig off so forcefully for no reason.
The police are also going to be talking to her, with her parents, who I hear are NOT happy with her. 
I'm still a little shaken up by this, because she had no right to do that. At all. It WAS physical assault, because it seriously hurt me. Physically and emotionally. I'm really upset that someone would think that yanking a wig off of someone would be funny.

Some guys in the second floor hallway yelled after me, "She pulled your wig, go beat her up!!"
Lets just say she's very lucky I was having a good day, and that I never caught up with her. I restrained myself beautifully, IMO. I took the high road against her act of violence, and she definitely won't be getting away with this. I don't put up with this bullshit, especially from snot-nosed 11th graders who think they are better than everyone else.

*sigh* I'm still not okay 100%. My head actually still hurts a little above the left temple. I'm just ignoring it now though. 

I look forward to her apology and explanation, goodness knows it will probably be something absolutely ridiculous. Even if she does apologize to me, I might not even accept it. People have done stupid shit like this to me in the past, and I've been forced to swallow and accept their empty "I'm sorry. *Scoff*" When I hear from her, I'm going to calmy give her a piece of mind, so to speak, and basically tell her that I don't put with bullshit, and she's damn lucky I didn't charge her with physical assault. So she better damn well mean her apology.

/wall of text

My outfit was really cute though :3
http://voicethread.com/share/629908/ <- the second picture. It's a bit of a bad angle, but I really like the combination :D

tl;dr don't mess with Haman Karn.

I'm officially back from FanExpo 2009. Officially meaning I unwrapped my figurines and sorted out all my swag, and uploaded all my photos. Well, almost.
This year went alright. It wasn't good, and it was bad.
--FRIDAY--

You know what, I'm gonna be completely honest and may come off whiny but whatever.
This weekend sucked. Horribly. Sure, I got to see some friends and buy some shit but the point of the matter is I had an bad time. The only good parts were my boyfriend showing up, the TWEWY photoshoot, the shoot with Kevin (<3!~) and partying in Adrian's room Saturday night. Oh, and Jen coming back from Scotland, and getting to see Amber in all her cosplay glory, and talking for a bit.
Other than that, no.
Just no.
I want this string of horrible shit happening to just stop. So much went wrong starting from MONDAY of last week, to ITS STILL HAPPENING NOW.

I'm SOOOOO EXCITED for Fanexpo. THREE MORE DAYS :D
I just finished the last stretch in touching up my Nia costume. Overall, all that's left to do now for all 3 are:
-Paint the edge of one bracelet (Nia)
-Reinforce the back of my shoes (Nia)
-Fix up the bangs on my Nia wig
-Buy double sided tape to make sure my collar stays in place (Haman)
-Whip up a pair of boot cover things (Haman)
-Cut a few inches off my pink Haman wig (this has to be done D<)
-add a button/safety pin thing to my Rhyme hat pin

This is gonna be an interesting convention. Friday, part of Saturday, and Sunday I'll be binding, Later Saturday, I'll be in my (very sexy) Haman Karn costume, which I'm absolutely in love with. No one will recognize me though :3 I wore it all three days to Otakuthon and the only people to recognize me was someone in the hotel elevator on the first day when my costume had just been finished, and the guy running the french Gundam panel (I'm pretty sure that's what he was doing that day, I can't remember T_T)

I'm really looking forward to seeing Guy and Ellen in their awesome Viral and Simon costumes again ^_^ It'll be better than Otakuthon though, because I'll be in my Nia costume, and I'll have time to get awesome pictures with them <3~
 

Right now I'm listening to Fishbone (lol ska) while lying down on the couch in the living room. I'm surrounded by paint, foam, and stuffs. I'm kind of comfy, but I'm still a little pissed at myself, and at nature. Yesterday morning, I woke up in my bedroom, with a horrible burning/stinging sensation on my neck, near my major vein (jugular?). On the wall right in front of my face, was a huge wasp. I kind of flailed a bit and flew out of my bed, grabbing my pillows and blankets and running the fuck away. I came back, watched the wasp walk all over my wall, and then turn around and walk to the window. My grandmother came in, cornered it in the window track, and killed it. (thank you ><)
Now, I'm wondering, what the fuck. Okay, I know that there is a wasps nest at the front of the house, between two bricks below the roof, but HOW THE HELL DID IT GET INSIDE???
I found out yesterday afternoon, when my grandfather came upstairs to talk to my grandmother. He let the door shut behind him...which took about 15 seconds to do. The front door is about a meter or two from the wasps nest.
.______.
So me, wincing in pain at the swelling sting on my neck, got up and slammed the door, informing everyone in the house to please shut the door behind them. 
I'm really not happy with this; I've never been stung by a bee/wasp/whatever before, and what if I was allergic and didn't know it? I would have been royally fucked because my dad wasn't home (only one with a car)
My grandfather said that he sprayed the wasps nest to kill it, but it only DROVE ONE INTO THE HOUSE.
More specifically, my bedroom.
Which is at the OTHER END OF THE HOUSE. And the door and windows were shut.
:(
Just my luck. Thankfully, the lump and the pain have vanished by now. 

More crappy news: I ate five pieces of pizza today. >_< ...At least I ate a granola bar and some grapes..right...right?
....T_T
I need to not let my dad order pizza anymore.

...was my last update. Way to go, Alex!
This update doesn't even have anything in it really.

Except FANEXPO HOLY SHIT 8 DAYS 

So lately I've been reflecting on myself and what I want out of life, and what I want to do. This has led me into odd thought discussions with myself about very random things. I've decided I want to share them with you!

First things first, I love this song.


  

I just LOVE it. It's such a nice song. So epic sounding.

Anyways, onto my ramblings about nothing.


A few days ago I was sitting in the back of my friends car on the highway. Luckily, I got to sit next to the open window. While the car was in motion, I lifted my face up the window slightly, and let the wind play with my hair and attack my face. Letting the wind become entangled with myself is one of the greatest feelings I have ever felt. No matter how much I try to stop it from messing my hair, it just persists. I feel helpless, yet empowered. I think when I let the wind blow upon me, that's when I am free from everything.

I met someone last week, who at first impression, reminded me of people who used to terrorize and beat me up in elementary school. I spent an hour or so being absolutely terrified on the inside, but after I got to know him a little better I saw that he was a pretty cool guy, who shares a lot of common interests with me. I think I learned from this...is that everyone will surprise you in some way. You might know who you are, and thank you. That really opened my eyes.

Are feet some sort of taboo body part? Whenever I go out, my mother checks to make sure my socks don't have holes in them, or that I'm wearing socks. Curious.

Also, I can't detect sarcasm over the internet.

I was going to post an entry about how ridiculous my ex-boyfriend is and how COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY VAIN HE IS LAWL but frankly I'm laughing too fucking hard.
It's so ridiulous I'll have to share it another time. XD 

Yes that's right folks! I can has job?  <-Lol wut.

Seriously, though, I love my dad so much. He's really well known at this one paintball field in my area, and he got me a job working there. It is SO much fun. Although I totally failed filling an air tank the first time...the nozzle popped off and hit me in the chest. I was so embarassed X_X The people that work there are really nice people, and the patrons are as well! Luckily they went easy on me seeing as it was my first day >_> I'll be talking to my dad about when I'm working next, I think monday or something. How silly, that I have to find out when I'm working through my dad and not my boss XD
Also, BUY MY YUGIOH CARDS :D <3